Misanthropy is Fun!

I come from a long line of proud misanthropists.

Which brings me to my next point... I hate you all. No, not really. Only some of you. Really.

I don't know. It just seems to me that people seem to be getting stupider and stupider by the minute, and it's becoming indisputably noticeable. Like, everywhere.

Too many of us are too neurotic, with a need to blog this, blog that, tweet this, tweet that. LOL this, LMAO that. It seems that's how we miss out on too many of life's gems. Not every-single-little-damn-thing HAS to be documented. And shared. I mean, I get it. We want to >capture< that moment. But do we need to? I know I don't need to know all of your moments.

Hypocrisy disclaimer: I'm sometimes one of "those" people. I am. Look at me, sitting here blogging right this second.

I'm not always toting around all these misanthropic sentiments. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a modern day Salinger in the slightest—pretty sure he was a better writer anyway. (Happy 100th, J.D.) But some people irritate me. No, it's not you. Or you. Or you, either. Maybe sometimes you. But guess what? I irritate people, too. Shocker, I know. That's okay. We all have our own prerogatives. I have mine. You have yours. Hallelujah to us all. But mostly to me.

Even though sometimes my faith in humanity is tested...*sigh*...we all need people. Or dogs. Dogs are good, too. Dogs are great. Dogs are better than people. No question about it. They're God's angels. Is that a thing? My dad says it... but I'm coining it. Sorry, Dad. Hate me if you must.

Side note: What's a hater of dogs? A cynothrope?

There are too many people in my life that I absolutely cannot live without. You know who you are. You. And you. And yeah, sometimes even you. But not you, Uncle Larry... with your hairy back... and that scar you always show us at family dinners.

Anyway, maybe someone reading this may think to themselves, "Misanthropy? Yep. I do JUST fine on my own. Blah, blah, blah."

We all know that's crap. We all need someone. Or at least a dog (or three) if you really hate people that much. Or cats. We don't judge.

So just say it with me. Who needs people?!

I only hate some of you. I just wanted to use the word "misanthropy" anyway. Just please stop posting pictures of your lunch! My lunch... that's a different discussion.

Oh, and one last thing… SeaWorld is a depressing place. No joy there.