First, First, First and Foremost

I wouldn't consider myself Pollyannaish. I really wouldn't. Maybe sometimes, though.

You were bemused when you read that word, weren't you? Open a dictionary, then. In fact, open one often.

Just to clarify, I know absolutely nothing. Sure, I might act like I know more than you. Maybe more than whoever else might. But let me assure you, I most certainly do not. I won't act like I'm full of ever-growing knowledge. I know just as much (or as little) as you do, just as the next person does. I'm just learning along the way. Search: pedantic. Not me. Nope.

I've noticed too many bloggers just... blogging... blog after blog after blog, giving out what seems to be ethereal, almost condescending, advice. Their ramblings often seem to pertain to simplistic, sometimes too easy, or even disingenuous maxims about this infinitesimal thing called life. See: pedantic. Again.

That just makes me want to stick an enema up me ol' nether-regions and cry out for Oprah.

I won't blog like that. Don't worry. But the enema thing... I mean... unless a REALLY sizable bet was involved.

I'll just tell you what I think, and you can take it from there.

I don't know what to call this. A blog? Irrelevant spewing of my musings? A really, really long conversation with myself?

Anyway, stick along for the ride.

Oh, and one last thing... screw the Oxford comma.