Werewolves vs. Vampires
For those who know me—and for those who are just getting to—it's no secret that I have an inexhaustible list of trivial questions. That's why I have this blog. And you have to listen to me. Mom said!
Let’s start with this one: If you could choose, would you rather be a werewolf or a vampire?
From pop culture and supernatural flicks, we understand the basic mechanics of werewolves and vampires, yeh? Let’s cover them to refresh our memory.
Werewolf
- Superhuman strength
- Superhuman speed
- Superhuman agility
- Superhuman senses
- Accelerated healing
- Transformation on every full moon
Vampire
- Superhuman strength
- Superhuman speed
- Superhuman agility
- Superhuman senses
- Accelerated healing
- Immortality
That's the idea, right. But throughout history the rules keep changing for supernatural beings. So, for this little game, I'm gonna tweak it a bit.
WEREWOLF:
Becoming a Werewolf
- Must be bitten
- Once bitten, the werewolf's venom seeps into your blood, granting you supernatural abilities
- These abilities won't activate until the first full moon, post-bite
Transformation
- On the day of a full moon, you become restless and aggressive
- When the full moon unveils, you become captive to the transformation
- Every bone in your body breaks, then reconstructs itself into the anatomy of a werewolf
- This takes thirty minutes to an hour, depending on a person’s size and stature
Werewolf Form
- You are invulnerable
- Your strength is equal to 50 men
- You can run up to 100 mph
- You can jump up to 50 feet
- You can hear up to 20 miles away
- You can see through darkness
- You can communicate with canines
- You have a desire to kill (this cannot be maintained)
Human Form
- At daybreak you transform back, equally as long and painful
- You are mortal
- Your strength is equal to 10 men
- You can run up to 40 mph
- You can jump up to 20 feet
- You can hear up to 5 miles away
- You can heal from any injury within hours
- You can communicate with canines
- You are immune to sickness/disease
- You can become pregnant/impregnate
- You are prone to extreme anger and aggression (this can be maintained over time)
- You cannot control your transformations
VAMPIRE:
Becoming a Vampire
- Must drink vampire blood
- The blood enters your bloodstream, granting you supernatural abilities
- These abilities won’t activate until your transformation is complete
Transformation
- Takes one week and causes 24/7 excruciating pain
- Your veins and arteries constrict until your blood ceases
- Your body dies
- The age at which you become a vampire is the age you resemble forever
Vampire Form
- You are immortal to a certain extent (only direct sunlight and decapitation can kill you)
- Your strength is equal to 20 men
- You can run up to 50 mph
- You can jump up to 20 feet
- You can hear up to 20 miles away
- You can heal from any injury within hours
- You are immune to sickness/disease
- You can see through darkness
- You can control minds
- You cannot become pregnant/impregnate
- You must drink a liter of human blood every week
- You have a desire to kill (this can be maintained over time)
My answer:
I struggled with this one. A blood-sucking creature of the night or a real life Michael J. Fox?
I mean, the idea of fur and once-a-month-total-destruction-of-your-anatomy isn't particularly alluring. But neither is the inability to procreate. Decisions, decisions.
Being a werewolf would be insanely awesome. Running free through the wild, communicating with animals. That's some cool shit. And I'd like to have a family someday, or at least the option to do so. But adoption is a thing. I'd be a good vampire dad. Maybe I could even start a little vampire family. Loopholes, kids. They're everywhere.
Also, imagine controlling our life expectancy… Let’s say we choose vampirism and live for 500 years and then get tired of living. Easy. Just walk into the sunlight or find a guillotine at the local museum. Boom. We’re off the hook.
Though being a vampire means no more tropical vacation destinations. That would suck. And it’d be kinda weird if you still look twenty-seven and your friends are pushing fifty.
That's where being a werewolf would come in handy. No having to tell people you just have really good genes. Plus, you can plan around your transformations. Just go out in the boonies and do your whole beast thing. Once a month. No big deal.
Wolf Man or Dracula? The quintessential age-old question.
I'm going with bloodsucker. I never really cared much for the whole beach scene. I hate the heat, anyway. That mind control, though... Imagine how much fun that would be. Heh-heh-heh. Yep, vampire it is.
What would you choose?