This Is Your Life
The End.
You wake up
Body soaked in hot sweat
From the pressure
Of your empty life
Comforter chokes you, constricts you
No comfort
Your limp body trapped
Thirty minutes
Maybe an hour
Maybe all day
Who cares
You hear horns and cars rushing
It’s lunch hour
So you get out of bed
Neck sore
Face pimply
Breath burnt
You trip over stiff clothes
Old corndog sticks
On your way to the living room
And out the front door
You shake your future cancer
Wake it up and take a drag
Through smoke
You see your dented car
Alone in the parking lot
Under the midday spotlight
Four thousand dollars, you whisper to yourself
And this is your life
You feel the buzz
Then become fine? again
So you go inside, slam the door
Water rings bloat the coffee table
Like ringworm
Beer bottles clink
Hanging picture falls
Shards everywhere
Stalagmites stab you
Blood stains over ketchup
You move on unfazed
Walk into the kitchen
Dishes rattle in the sink, then fall
Shatters
Your leaning tower is ruined
After so much effort
Nothing for breakfast
No time for shower
Half-assed brushing
Seconds, not minutes
Forget about flossing
You see the pile of laundry
Clean or dirty?
Doesn’t really matter
Never really does
You shrug
Pick up a shirt
Pants
Mismatched socks
Maybe underwear, too
All out-of-order
Chaos
And this is your life
A continuous cycle
Fingers stained by Phillip Morris
Teeth stained by you
Face pockmarked
Body emaciated
You notice people watching you
Quietly judging you
They must be
Alienation sets in
Then merges into detachment
Like a raveled spool of yarn
Family drifts away
Friends devolve to acquaintances
Then they all dissolve
It all
Becomes
Too much
Effort
Months go by, you miss out
On birthdays
Thanksgivings
Christmases
New Years kisses
So finally
You’re alone
Just like you wanted
Now this is your life
Just like you wanted
Til one day
You’re lying in bed
Choked, constricted
Neck caving in
Picking your face
Oil and sweat seeping in your pillow
Then you sit up
And without warning
The gates are opened
You cry and cry
…and cry
You cry
Because this is your life
Just like you wanted
What hurts inside bursts outside
Emotions spatter the walls
And drip in confusion
The comforter is soaked
With only tears
Happy tears
Sad tears
Angry tears
Everything tears
It hurts
For the first time
In years
Your heart hurts
You tell yourself, this is it
No going back
Let it hurt
For a long moment
You fell into a dark place
Consumed with hate and emptiness
Devoid of love and happiness
But it’s okay
Because you cry
You purge through the night
Through the week
Even the entire month
Then you put everything aside
Strip your life back
And look inside
You wash your face
You clear your mind
You dip your body
Then, you smell burning rubber
Hear curses
And you smile
The clouds part
Cockcrow shines through
Finally
Top sheet comforts you
No more choking
No more constrictions
No more
No
More
Now this is your life
The Beginning.